What do you do when you take three steps back after having taken two forward? How do you not expect yourself to having known better than what you just did? It always comes back to the incredibly heavy pressure we put on ourselves. It seems like you have your shit together and you’re FINALLY getting over it until it hits you like a train wreck once again. This time you don’t shatter into pieces, but you surely do bend until the point of breaking.
When you’re a perfectionist slash extremely demanding of yourself, not getting what you want, having a change of plans or things going in another direction than the one planned is very challenging for the mind. Although most times it’s not our defeat, it’s just a change of events, the mind doesn’t accept it. “You should have done it differently.”, “You should have had more patience.”, “You haven’t learnt a single thing in this whole time.”…blahblahblah. Shut that voice down. It’s not yours. It’s not coming from your heart. It’s your sometimes-hard-to-identify mean girl who lives inside your head.
Everyday we try to cope with our problems the smartest, sometimes easiest way we can. We don’t always use our heart, we mostly turn to pride to please our mean girl so she cannot criticize our actions for being weak. We are used to not saying what we really think because then it just might turn into our reality.
There’s no peace of mind without speaking it first. Let everything out, pour your heart out with the words that come from the pureness of your soul. Only after doing all of that you can pick which turn to take next with no voices wandering around your head nor any “what ifs”. Act in the form of love.
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